you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize