i just identified you from a description of your pipe
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
