what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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