I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
