Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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