So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
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Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
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while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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