her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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