the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
