At least make sure they are 18
Why
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
