i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize