I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
