Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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