there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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