If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I smell like Dick and happiness
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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