i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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