When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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