I will die if light touches me.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
