Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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