If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
