fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
