i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
