If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
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