please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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