Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
