Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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