It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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