I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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