You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
