she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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