me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
