Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
