There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
