I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
