At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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