I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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