There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
