please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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