You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
