we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
