I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I think I am morally bankrupt
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
