i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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