Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
