i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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