..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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