I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
