I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
