there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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