Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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