Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
