She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
