I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
