i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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