last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
