so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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