YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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