non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
