Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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