...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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