In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
