i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
