Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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