fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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