Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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