She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
