i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
