you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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