That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
