Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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