Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
