What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
