i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Alive.
So much puke
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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