i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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