I got chris browned last night
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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