you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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