I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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